Well, i need a rest

As salam. Been few weeks busy with assignments and presentations. Spending most of the holidays to complete those 'sheets'. Wait, how are you guys doing? Hope you're doing fine. Im doing great with lovely people around me; my family, my Jack and friends. Well despite of all that, my head could not stop thinking about what have i been through, its all about heart and feelings. Nothing more about love, i had more than enough. Its about yeah, friends. I dont know how long this thing will lasts.. Im tired of facing what i dont want to face everyday, im sick of feeling what i dont want to feel everyday. It gave me heartache thinking about how they hurt me so bad while i needed them to be the listeners. I bet they dont feel what i felt. The person next door is satisfied seeing us like this and said, "you're lucky enough that they still care about you". No, they dont. What i heard, it was all lies. I think they made up stuffs as a threat. If they still cared, they should be on my side, not with that person. I dont get it, what on this earth made them trust besides than trusting a friend, so called 'bestfriend'. Frankly speaking, i cant stand being a hypocrite. I dont want to do what i hate, i dont want to be other than myself. Who does? Fuck all those things she said that "i would rather pick my friend", then who am i? And this one, "I would rather trust my own bestfriend", well i guess that person is your bestfriend after all, not me. It is still unclear that they said, im not being honest with them so sudden. Well which part? One said, this. One said, that. One doesnt know anything and ask me to be honest. One were giving advises. I am brave enough to say this, non of them supports me, whom they called their bestfriend. And me, didnt understand any of those. Honest about what? They only answered one thing, which obviously gets me into the heart knowing that they are all on the other side, not with me. Bullshit....... How long do they know that person mannnnnn compared to me? They didnt understand the situation, i thought they do, but i was wrong. They pushed me down in a blink of an eye, they said they wanted to save me. From what? I am struggling real hard to save myself from that person, working real hard not to expose myself to sins, praying too much to God that everything will go smoothly as what i planned, trusting friends who are hiding that they actually doesnt know anything about what they know. Get me here? Where is the logic? I just dont trust these women anymore.. One more thing, please dont decide my life, because i did not complaint anything about them, the person that they choose to be with, and so forth. Thank you. Enough about this, pissed me off. Im sorry for this post, i just want to voice it all out, all of it, and this is the only way. Hehe. Have a nice day ahead people. x